


the words i mean to say

by takakoyaki



Series: Infinite Romcomverse [3]
Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Emotional Sex, Established Relationship, Floor Sex, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mild Angst(?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:18:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7579177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takakoyaki/pseuds/takakoyaki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gratuitous fic based on Howon and Sunggyu's conversation in Part 2 of the series:</p><p> “You thought something happened.”</p><p>“Scared the shit out of me. Dongwoo was late because of traffic and his phone ran out of battery earlier, so he pulled over and called me from a payphone to let me know he was going to be late,” Sunggyu shrugs. “The first thing I said when I heard his voice was ‘I love you.’"</p>
            </blockquote>





	the words i mean to say

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. It's been a while, but I'm back with some fresh OTP feels-- thanks Paula for being my critical eye as usual ;;
> 
> 2\. I'm trying to get back into drawing a lot, I started a fresh new [art twitter](https://twitter.com/takatsudon_art) that you guys should check out~ I'll be posting lots of Infinite stuff, taking sketch requests, and eventually selling fan goods! See you there!!

It happens on a rainy day.

Sunggyu has just exited the train station and is walking back to his and Dongwoo’s apartment building, thankful he brought an umbrella to work today as he carefully avoids sidewalk puddles. When he turns the first corner he notices smashed up cars, caution tape and bright sirens, though it looks like the accident that occurred is already in the process of being cleaned up and the intersection is allowing pedestrians on one side. There’s smoke mixing with the rain and grey skies, but as Sunggyu approaches something icy closes itself around his heart.

_ Is that Dongwoo’s car? _

Despite the rain and uneven pavement Sunggyu breaks into a jog, then a run, his umbrella flapping to and fro. His panic begins to explode as he gets closer and closer-- it does look too much like Dongwoo’s car, but surely it  _ can’t  _ be-- it couldn’t be--

Dongwoo hasn’t texted him all day, even though they agreed yesterday to have dinner at Sunggyu's place. Sunggyu feels his stomach lurch as he reaches the scene, and an officer notices him and walks over to wave him off.

“Pedestrians on this side only,” the officer reminds him, and even though grabbing the man’s collar might result in some actual trouble Sunggyu nearly does in his desperation.

“That green car-- who was driving it? Are they okay? Is anyone hurt?!” he chokes out, barely remembering to even speak politely to an officer of the law in his panicked state. “Please, it might’ve been someone-- someone I know.”

He stops short of saying  _ someone I love _ . Even though the mere thought of anything happening to Dongwoo, who’s been by his side for almost ten years now, is enough to crush his soul into dust. The officer reaches out to steady him, his voice trained and careful.

“There were some injuries involved, but the victims have all been transported to the hospital. We can’t release the identities just yet, so for now please get in contact with whoever it is first. We’re--still in the process of notifying the families, so your understanding is appreciated.” The officer sounds apologetic. Sunggyu knows he should be relieved-- at least no one  _ died _ \-- but he can’t bring himself to ask how serious the injuries were. 

“I… I see. Thank you, officer.” Sunggyu’s own voice sounds like it’s coming from somewhere very far away. He feels like his heart is plunging through the ground as he steps away from the scene, though he manages to put some distance between himself and the wreck after a few minutes. 

His phone suddenly vibrates in his pocket, but when he pulls it out to look it’s not Dongwoo’s number; it’s one that Sunggyu doesn’t recognize at all.

_ The hospital...? _ His hands shake as he holds his phone to his ear.

“Hello...?”

“Hyung? Hyung, sorry I couldn’t answer my texts all day, I forgot to charge my phone and traffic’s terrible because of the weather. I’m using a public phone right now so I can’t talk long, but about dinner, I--” Dongwoo’s voice comes out in a rush through the other end, and Sunggyu drops his umbrella, nearly sinking to his knees right there in front of their apartment building. When he collects himself, he tries and fails to be annoyed with him.

“Jang Dongwoo,” he says faintly, interrupting whatever Dongwoo was going to say about dinner.  “I… I love you.”

“H-Huh? Hyung…?” Dongwoo definitely heard him, Sunggyu knows, though obviously he’s somewhat confused. “I love you too, is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s fine now,” Sunggyu laughs hoarsely as he picks up his umbrella and starts to drag himself towards the stairs to his place. “I’m almost home. I’ll see you there soon.”

“Yes, hyung.” Dongwoo’s cheerful voice sounds like a miracle in Sunggyu’s ear.

_ I’ve taken you for granted.  _ Sunggyu doesn’t say the words he really wants to say, but he knows now he has to say them, when they’re together again. 

“Be careful in the rain. Drive safe,” he says instead, because he means that too, just as much as the ‘I love you.’  
  


\--  
  


Sunggyu gets dinner ready and everything, but it’s left untouched because as soon as Dongwoo comes through the door Sunggyu is pressed against him, holding him and kissing him breathlessly, passionately.

“Sorry,” he gasps as he finally pulls away, drinking in the completely blissed out look on Dongwoo’s face. “You’re probably hungry, right?” 

“I… It can wait.” Dongwoo shakes his head and pulls Sunggyu in for another, softer kiss. “I had a snack before I left.”

“Still, I--” Sunggyu holds Dongwoo’s face in his hands, unwilling to let go even though he knows he should let Dongwoo eat and rest after his long day at work. He shakes his head. “Sorry, I know I’m acting weird. But I was just, er… worried, I guess.”

“Because of my phone? I’m really sorry hyung,” Dongwoo apologizes, frowning. “But I do that pretty often, don’t I?”

“Yeah, you do. It’s not just that,” Sunggyu admits, before briefly explaining what happened with the accident earlier.

“So… you thought I might’ve been hurt?” An angelic smile curls itself naturally on Dongwoo’s full lips, and he reaches up to cover Sunggyu’s hands with his own. “That’s so sweet of you, hyung. But you don’t have to feel guilty, you know. I’m right here; I’m okay.”

“I… I know.” Sunggyu doesn’t mean to whisper, but he feels like all the air’s been sucked out of his lungs as his hands slip across Dongwoo’s jawline, down his neck, resting over his pulse point. “But I still… I feel like I’ve been taking you for granted, Dongwoo-yah. I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t. Buuut, if you really feel that way, make it up to me now then?” Dongwoo smiles again, playful as he wraps his arms around Sunggyu’s neck and kisses him again, this time in invitation. Sunggyu accepts, kissing him back possessively, and they manage not to break the kiss until they’ve made it to the hallway. They end up missing the bedroom door entirely, but neither of them seem to care at this point; Sunggyu certainly doesn’t. They don’t stop kissing for long even as they pull off their clothes, and though Dongwoo still smells like the stale sweaty air of the dance studio Sunggyu doesn’t care, pressing his nose to Dongwoo’s skin and breathing him in as soon as Dongwoo pulls off his shirt. 

They only stop to get lube and condoms from the bathroom, but Sunggyu doesn’t lead him to the bed. Instead he wraps his fingers around Dongwoo’s slender wrists and pins him there, up against the wall. He presses up against Dongwoo, savoring how his muscles flex and tense underneath him; Dongwoo may be the shorter one, but his body is broad and solid, toned by years of dancing. Dongwoo easily hooks one of his legs around him to bring him even closer, and Sunggyu loses track of how long he holds him against the wall, their kisses alternating between gentle and needy. When Dongwoo’s half-hard cock starts to rub against his thigh, he lowers them both down to the ground, right there in the hallway.

“Is this okay?” Sunggyu asks quietly, cushioning the back of Dongwoo’s head with his hand so he doesn’t bump his head. He’s lying on his back staring up at Sunggyu, his jaw already slack with longing, and it makes Sunggyu want to catch that lower lip of his in his teeth again.

“Yes, it’s okay,” Dongwoo giggles, and the sound echoes in the little hallway. But it’s still big enough for both of them, and Sunggyu really likes the way Dongwoo’s laugh sounds when they’re in here. Still, he’s slightly worried about Dongwoo getting overexcited and hitting his head or something (even if it’s carpet).

“Sure you don’t want the bed?” He coats his fingers in plenty of lube before he moves his hands back to Dongwoo, one hand tracing patterns Dongwoo’s ribcage while the other slips between his legs to tease him open. “Or can I have you here like this…?”

“Anything,” Dongwoo replies, inhaling sharply as he pushes back against Sunggyu’s probing fingers. “Anywhere you want, I’m yours.”

_ I’m yours, too.  _ Despite himself, Sunggyu catches himself holding back the words he wants to say again. He buries his face in the crook of Dongwoo’s shoulder, his left thumb coaxing a whine out of Dongwoo as it circles his nipple, pressing the fingers of his right hand in deeper, slowly working him open. He doesn’t want to hold his words back anymore.

“I love you,” he whispers against Dongwoo’s neck as he finds the spot, brushing his fingertips against Dongwoo’s prostate, savoring the keen sound it elicits from the back of Dongwoo’s throat. 

“I… I love you, too.” Dongwoo’s voice is quiet, strained with desire. Sunggyu takes his fingers out, comes back up to kiss him tenderly, comfortingly as he rolls the condom on. He says it again, murmured against his lips this time, and Dongwoo returns it the same way; the words themselves flow between them like water, easily and naturally. Sunggyu tries not to curse at himself anymore for not saying them nearly enough-- Dongwoo wants him to make up for it, so he’s going to do that, starting now. Dongwoo’s legs are already parted for him, eager for his touch, so Sunggyu slides his hand up one thigh, the other taking Dongwoo’s and lacing their fingers together.

“You’re pretty romantic when you want to be, Sunggyu-sshi…” Even when Dongwoo teases him he says his name with so, so much affection. Sunggyu laughs softly in response, but his heart is beating wildly in his chest as he and Dongwoo shift their hips, finding just the right angle. After making sure their bodies are still as close as possible, he kisses him sweetly and finally works himself in.

It’s easy at first, to take Dongwoo from there and make love with him, to take him in his hand and kiss him. As he picks up the pace, Sunggyu’s knees start to scrape a bit painfully on the carpet, but he doesn’t slow down, doesn’t let go of Dongwoo despite Dongwoo’s concern that Sunggyu is going to hurt himself.

“G-Gyu hyung,” he calls his name, slender fingers curling in Sunggyu’s hair as Sunggyu sucks a mark on the side of his neck. “It’s okay, you don’t have to--”

“I want to,” Sunggyu breathes, snapping his hips forward again, thrusting into him steadily in time with his hand pumping over Dongwoo’s shaft. He wants to lose himself, lose himself entirely in Dongwoo’s soft tight heat, to stomp out his irrational fears and  _ know  _ with every fiber of his being that Dongwoo is there with him. 

“You’re so good like this.” The words come out as slurred and ragged as his breathing. “If it’s good for you, too I-- I don’t want to stop.”

“It’s so good. Don’t stop,” Dongwoo confirms emphatically, shaking his head as he clenches around Sunggyu even harder, causing them both to cry out. Dongwoo holds him tight as Sunggyu pulls out almost all the way before pushing back in, his moans of pleasure and gasping breaths overlapping with Sunggyu’s like a song.

“I love you.” Sunggyu gasps the words again, this time as if they've been torn from somewhere deep inside of him. “Dongwoo-yah, please… please don’t…”

He doesn’t, can’t bring himself to finish the sentence, to vocalize the thing he’s scared of most. It sounds pathetic all the same, but he doesn’t care, not when it’s Dongwoo. His Dongwoo, who’s too good for him really, who always understands what’s in his heart even if he can’t say it, who presses a gentle kiss to Sunggyu’s temple and holds their bodies flush together as they both near their climax. 

“I won’t. I won’t ever leave you,” he promises. "I love you too, always." Dongwoo's voice trembles with emotion, but when Sunggyu looks at his face his mouth is half-open but smiling, his eyes shining, bangs sticking to his face flushed with pleasure and happiness. There’s so much love there too, pure and true and free from the fears that weighed Sunggyu down, but at least with Dongwoo there they can’t hurt him as much. Not when he’s like this, beautiful and so breathtakingly perfect that Sunggyu comes inside of him at last with a groan, riding out his orgasm with shallow thrusts that don’t stop until the aftershocks have come and gone as well.

After that, Sunggyu pulls out and lets Dongwoo spread his limbs on the floor, tossing the condom aside as quickly as possible before crawling backwards and taking Dongwoo in his mouth instead. He’s exhausted and spent, but still determined to wring every last drop of pleasure he can from Dongwoo’s body. Dongwoo props himself on his elbows at first, but then he sits up, reaching out and running his fingers through Sunggyu’s hair so tenderly that if this were any other time Sunggyu would want to stop everything and kiss him senseless. But for now Sunggyu doesn’t hold back; he bobs his head, drags his tongue down the shaft and around the thick head of his cock until Dongwoo’s come down his throat, shaking apart with a choked sob as he holds onto Sunggyu’s hair.

“Gyu hyung,” Dongwoo gasps again, and Sunggyu wishes he could see what Dongwoo’s face looks like now. But he swallows and keeps his mouth slick around the head, knowing how sensitive Dongwoo is after he’s just come, how much he likes it when Sunggyu gives him that extra attention and care. But then Dongwoo calls his name again, and Sunggyu knows Dongwoo needs him now. Besides, now that they’re both completely spent, it's noticeably chilly without any  clothes or blankets. He forces himself to stand up and take Dongwoo into the bedroom at last, making sure he’s safely in bed and under the covers before climbing in himself.

“I’m right here,” he murmurs as he pulls Dongwoo into his arms, his voice rough and dry. He kisses him comfortingly, reassuringly even though it’s really Dongwoo who’s reassuring him, just by being here in his arms. 

“Thank you,” Dongwoo says without a trace of irony when they finally pull apart. Instead he rests his head comfortably on Sunggyu’s shoulder as they keep holding each other, sharing each other’s warmth. He laughs a little, and Sunggyu feels his chest shake a bit against his own. “It’s kinda funny to say it out loud, but-- I’m really grateful, hyung. That you worry about me so much… and take care of me so much. So just… thank you.”

“Thank you, too.” Sunggyu can’t help but laugh too, laugh at the sheer happiness of being alive, and here with Dongwoo safe in his arms. “Thank you for… for existing, Jang Dongwoo.”

Dongwoo laughs again in response, but still, Sunggyu means it. He means all of it, everything he told Dongwoo today.

_ Be careful. I'm sorry. Thank you. I love you. _

In fact, he’s never meant anything more in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Jang Dongwoo T_T


End file.
